How To...

...make your mom feel like she's unfit to be a mother.
...make your mom not want to have any more kids.

1. Yell loudly near your sleeping sibling and in public places.
2. Put your siblings binky in your mouth frequently even though she tells you not to.
3. Make it difficult to have a clean binky around for easy use by touching them often after you've touched filthy things like park trash cans.
4. Fall out of your stroller and off of a chair and hit your head.
5. Cry that you want to be held when she's holding your sibling.
6. Learn how to spit so you can spit randomly on people and furniture and spit out food frequently. See following picture for an example.
7. Color with pen on upholstery.
8. Play with the water in the toilet and with the toilet bowl cleaner.
9. Escape out of the house when she's changing your sibling. This works especially well if they're screaming so she can't hear the door open.
10. Disobey (i.e., run away when she says to come, continue playing in the toilet when she says to stop, run in the street when she says to walk on the sidewalk, etc.).
11. Tell her "no" when she tells you to do something.
12. Don't share with nice people who come visit you.
13. Don't show any interest in potty training.
14. Cry when you don't get your way and when she makes you stop what you're having fun doing.
15. Undress your sibling and take off his diaper.

In other words, don't act like this: